every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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