I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize