Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
