I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
