somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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