im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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