did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
