Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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