Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
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Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize