It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
