no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
