He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize