We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
