im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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