So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
