I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
