It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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