K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
