So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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