He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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