She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize