My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize