It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
