Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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