My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
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I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere