what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?