Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This couple is walking their pig around campus