I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize