Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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