Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
