brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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