Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
