My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
