we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
