Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I did not marry a roomba.
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