soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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