Don't you send me to vm
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
