I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
