I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
