GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
