I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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