I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
