After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
