she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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