When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Damn victory sex feels great
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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