Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
