I just threw up on my dentist
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
