Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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