I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
