i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
