I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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