I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.