Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.