those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.