Whod you bang
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
