I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well you can't waste a boner
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
