just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize