the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You are a genius and a whore.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
