Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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