last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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