I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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